Back to Now

The struggle to stop struggling. An effort to forget. To remember.

We generally consider inert matter only as aggregates but when it comes to living things—being closer to our own scale and kind—we pay more attention to the behavior of individuals. That is our perspective distortion. Aggregates are always subject to the laws of statistics whereas individuals remain essentially unpredictable. The so-called laws of nature are simply practical statistical estimates of the collective behavior of matter. To have a single particle to follow a predetermined course, like in a particle collider, we need to excert a lot of force (the collective behavior of billions of other particles) to strip away its inherent freedom.

Movement means to be in this place and not to be in it; this is the continuity of space and time - and it is this which first makes motion possible.

G. W. F. Hegel

On the quantum level the trajectory of a particle is indefinite; it takes all the paths at the same time. A quantum particle has no definite past. Linear time appears not until later; it is a property of more complex arrangements of matter. Not surprisingly so, as clearly, the more complex the form the fewer possible paths there are for that form to take place. That seems to be how the arrangement of quantum particles gives birth to asymmetrical time, which in turn is the prerequisite of memory and consciousness.

Why is time asymmetrical?

Why is there a single past but multiple possible futures? I have been asking this from myself, but just realized I’ve been looking at the question from the wrong end. I find that nothing that exists can explain the asymmetry of time, but that existence itself owes to that asymmetry.

Existence, i.e. the conscious experience of now, is possible only if something makes sense. I.e. any experience requires a perceptible distinction between figure and ground. To make that distinction a pattern needs to be recognized. That requires memory (of recurrence). To remember requires that there is a single past, or at least that the number of pasts is constrained.

That is why we generally experience only one past. That is called remembering. Existence is remembering. I exist as long as I remember. Sometimes we also anticipate, but in general it is sufficient that one direction of time is definite. We have labeled the define direction of time as past and the indefinite as future.

The realization that I am far more capable than I realize. What is that? A realization of higher dimension, intuition that transcends realizations of linguistical mind. Clearly, if this holds true—which I believe to be the case—I am identified with the wrong self, a self of language, confined in a labyrinth of narrow vistas.

I felt drained of energy. Why? I tried writing it down. One word followed another, disorderly, disconnected. Then something started to emerge, right in front of my eyes. The words organized themselves. Meaningful sentences came up. A thought. Order out of chaos. A universe out of nothing. I felt in control. Energized. Why?

I felt weak when I lost the control, I felt strong when the illusion of control was regained. But clearly, no control was required for the order to appear.What if, then, no order was lost in the first place. What if, it was just my perception that changed. Why did I blame myself for the lack of recognizable pattern? Why did I credit myself for the pattern that emerged? It seems the perception of control goes hand in hand with the perception of myself. The pain. The pleasure.

The laws of nature are the conditioning of my soul

All sentient beings in all worlds… I’ve never understood why the plural. Until I realized that the world is but my conditioning. Different conditioning, different world. Hence the multitude of worlds. Our ability to meet and communicate, to share a reality, already tells us that we are, in a sense, soulmates.

It would seem queer, not to say ridiculous, to think that the contemplating, conscious mind that alone reflects the becoming of the world should have made its appearance only at some time in the course of this “becoming”.

Erwin Schrödinger

Nothing is ever created.
More and more is being remembered.

It’s not your lack of knowledge but your conviction that makes you just another annoying nutcase on the Internet. There needs to a more non-violent way of bringing about your point of view; a way that integrates authentic learning with your self-expression.

And as always, the “you” I’m talking to and about is the yours truly.

Sanity would be too much to ask for, but at least I know I’m insane.

The world is a monologue of God. I am a mere sentence in His discourse, a shout of grief; an amusing one-liner; a silent pause between the words, perhaps.

Predeterminancy and free will are not the opposite but the same

There are two forces in the world, the law of nature and chance. I have often pondered that should there be free will, it would have to somehow emerge from the latter. But what if it’s really the other way round. What if predeterminancy is not something to fight against but something that I… am.

So that what we conceive as the law of nature is really my will; the nature, not something apart from me but synonymous to what I really am; and chance, not my will in some obscure camouflage but the creative force that blindly generates the world in response to my true nature, the Will, the Law.

It just occurred to me that if consciousness is similarity of this moment with other moments, then it is, in a specific sense, an emergent phenomenon.

Simply because religious experience is apprehended in an “interior” fashion does not mean it is merely private knowledge, any more than the fact that mathematics and logic are seen inwardly, by the mind’s eye, makes them merely private fantasies without public import. Mathematical knowledge is public knowledge to all equally trained mathematicians; just so, contemplative knowledge is public knowledge to all equally trained contemplatives.

Ken Wilber